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AITAH for reporting my coworker for stealing my food ?
Current Events

AITAH for reporting my coworker for stealing my food ?

My coworker is single and pregnant. I think she’s due in June. We’re all happy for her and planning a big baby shower at work before she goes on maternity leave. The problem is she keeps stealing my lunch or snacks without asking. I literally caught her devouring my food, and when I confronted her, she started crying about cravings and called me heartless. I didn’t want to make a scene at work, so I just let it go and told her to at least ask before touching my food next time. Then it happened again. This time, it was my labeled tiramisu from a local bakery. I had planned to bring it to my friend after work. I lost it. I told her there was a label on the box with my name and a DO NOT TOUCH MY FOOD post-it on it. She just said, “I know, but the baby really wanted tiramisu! It was sooooo good .” Then she started crying again and making a scene. So I reported it to my boss. Now my boss wants to meet with both of us on Friday. Was I the asshole? Some coworkers think reporting her was too much and that if I’m so worried about my food, I shouldn’t put it in the work fridge. She is pregnant and single she probably can’t afford since she is single so be a little empathetic . Did I overreact?

Luca Moretti
UPDATE: My girlfriend is turning 21 and wants me (21M) to throw her a party. How do I break the news that no one will show up?
Relationships

UPDATE: My girlfriend is turning 21 and wants me (21M) to throw her a party. How do I break the news that no one will show up?

OP: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/3guzht/my_girlfriend_is_turning_21_and_wants_me_21m_to/ I logged into facebook at like 2 AM last night and my girlfriend has posted a message on the party event wall saying the party was cancelled. She saw the no-shows before I could let her know about it. I called her and suggested some other activities we could do, things like amusement parks or concerts or taking a cooking class. I thought she'd like all those ideas. "No thank you." We were kinda quiet over the phone, until she asked me in a really small voice if I could come over. We met outside her dorm at like 3 in the morning. She was crying, as I expected. But it was just watery eyes, not full on sobs how she usually cries. "It's okay," she said. "Some people aren't meant to have friends." I told her she was exaggerating, that she just needs to look in different places, etc. She shook her head. "No, I'm done." This morning at breakfast we passed a lot of mutual acquaintances. Usually my girlfriend smiles and says hello. Today she just kept her eyes on the pavement, not looking at anyone. She barely ate. But other than that she seemed like her normal self with me, talking and laughing. She just wouldn't look at anyone else. She told me how she's going to use this extra time to get better in her classes, to work on her jewelry and maybe open an etsy shop. To read more books. I asked her if this is really what she wanted. "No, but life doesn't always give you what you want. I didn't want to be an engineer. I didn't want to live in a basement alone. I didn't want to hate college and wish every day that I could drop out. But you make the best of it." Her voice was breaking as she said this, but she didn't cry. She left the breakfast table after that and said she wanted to be alone. Where the hell do I go from here? Her actual birthday is tomorrow (we were throwing the party a week later) and she insists she doesn't want to do anything. Is it bad that part of me sort of agreed with her, that some people aren't meant to make friends? I don't think I am, but obviously she wants friends and it's making her miserable. **tl;dr**: Girlfriend canceled party, said she didn't want to do anything for her birthday, and announced that she's given up on finding friends. She isn't going back to any of her clubs or activities, and is going to focus on her studies and hobbies this coming year. Her actual 21st birthday is tomorrow. Where do I go from here? **EDIT: I am sitting with her in her dorm room right now. She's on the bed reading, I'm on the couch minding my own business, just being near her. She is okay.**

Elise Dubois
[Final update] AITAH for kicking out my husband after he went to go see and comfort his ex-girlfriend?
Relationships

[Final update] AITAH for kicking out my husband after he went to go see and comfort his ex-girlfriend?

I (32F) and my husband (38M) have been married for 3 years, our relationship has had its ups and downs but we’re a relatively happy couple. Though, in the beginning of our relationship, he was also dating Angela (24F) 5 years ago, I was unaware of this other relationship but when I found out, I confronted him and he told me that since we weren’t officially dating that he didn’t know we were exclusive. I told him that if he didn’t cut off this relationship with Angela, that I was going to break it off. We left it at that and we didn’t talk for a while when he came to my apartment unexpectedly weeks later saying it was over with Angela and that he wanted to try again and asked me to be his girlfriend. Ever since then we have been a pretty normal couple, we have our moments but our relationship is going good and I believe he is my soulmate. Recently there’s been an issue in our relationship though, Angela. 3 weeks ago, we were out running errands and ||......🔽

Anya Petrova
WIBTA for reporting my neighbours?
WIBTA

WIBTA for reporting my neighbours?

A few years ago my partner (27M) and I (27F) bought our first home. I had some savings & a sum of money that had come through from a medical negligence case, & my partner had some inheritance money. We met our neighbours(68M, 65F) the day we started moving furniture in. The woman demanded to know our landlords name so she could "keep in contact with him" & seemed genuinely offended when we told her we owned the house. She made a shitty comment about how she had to work all her life to buy her house, & we were "too young" to deserve a home. I'm waiting on an organ transplant, so work from home in the meantime. One morning I came home from a quick walk around the block with my dog & noticed their son's car parked across my driveway and blocking mine in. I knocked on the door and politely explained that I need to be able to leave at all times in case of a medical emergency, especially if I'm called in for a transplant. The woman snapped at me that she doesn't like people parking next to her because it makes her drive "look messy". Her son did move the car, but called me selfish & a snowflake as he did so. Once she hammered on my door and told me to "shut (my) dog up because he's been barking all day" even though he was at the vet and had been for a few days. About a month after that, I noticed my dog eating something in my garden. I went over to investigate, & saw he had a chocolate bar in his mouth & had eaten most of it. I found a few more empty wrappers scattered along the fence between my yard & the neighbours', immediately called the vet. I'm pretty sure it was my neighbour, but I don't have solid proof so I can't say anything. More than once I've caught her trying to steal our post from the postman. I just don't get *why*. A lot of it is just stuff I need for work (printer paper, sticky notes, etc) with no real monetary value, or medical stuff and non-prescription supplements that are pretty specific to my illness and no use to anyone else. There's literally nothing to be gained from taking it. Her husband is racist and homophobic, and uses the P-word, N-word,& F-word all the time. He also really hates children. Last Halloween he threw a bucket of water over a group of trick-or-treaters. when the parents came over to complain they pretended they weren't home. We've been thinking about extending our kitchen just a little to make it a bit more accessible for me. Somehow in the process, we found our the neighbours' own extention was done illegally. They'd been denied planning permission, but they built it anyway. During the process, they'd also caused some aesthetic damage to our property. A really petty part of me wants to report them, because they've been needlessly nasty for *years*. They would be forced to have it taken down AND pay for the repairs to our house. Tl;Dr WIBTA for reporting my asshole neighbours after enduring years of their shitty behaviour?

Luca Moretti
UPDATE: AITA for telling my half-siblings to get over the fact that we have the same dad?
Current Events

UPDATE: AITA for telling my half-siblings to get over the fact that we have the same dad?

So, I (16F) didn't know my real dad was for most of my life. It turned out that he was my mom's best friend's husband cause he cheated with my mom. They all knew, my mom just didn't tell me until this year. Looking back he's always been like a dad to me even though I always referred to him as Uncle David. My dad and his wife, who I call Aunt Olivia, have kids and I always thought they liked me, like they're younger but they'd always want me to play with them and they were always trying to impress me and stuff. I was like an older cousin than a sister though. Since we got everything in the open I've been over to their house more often. Aunt Olivia loves having me there and I love having her be my stepmom cause she was already like my bonus mom. But the kids don't like me anymore, they don't want me to play with them anymore and they'll barely acknowledge my presence. Yesterday during dinner my dad ||...↙️

Jonas Bergström
AITA telling my co worker that I will report him after he announced my pregnancy during lunchbreak?
Current Events

AITA telling my co worker that I will report him after he announced my pregnancy during lunchbreak?

I F33 have been working in this company for 4 years. I have great relationship with my co workers and one of them is "Austin". Austin is incredibly sociable and easy to adapt with new co workers. We talk about all kinds of stuff while of course keeping it professional. I'm married and recently found out I was pregnant but only my husband knew about it. Haven't even told anyone in our families or friend circle. The other day at work me and the co workers were on lunch break and Austin was with us. We talked then he suddenly got up from his chair and asked for everyone's attention for a minute. I didn't know what that was about til he loudly announced that I was pregnant. I was stunned, like mouth open eyes not moving just staring at him as he and the other rushed to congratulate me and flood me with well wishes and parenting jokes and advice. I was in utter shock I asked how he knew and he said "remember when you gave me a ride the other day? I saw your pregnancy test result on the dashboard" my first action was lashing out at him infront of everyone asking why the hell he just shared a private medical information at my workplace. He said he was just sharing "our joy" with everyone else since only him and I knew. Other co workers asked that I calm down but I meanly told him he was out of line and that I will be reporting him to my superior for this then stormed off while Austin just stood there. My female co workers came to tell me how rude I was towards Austin's "nice gesture" and insisted I hurt him and that I overreacted especially for saying I will be reporting him since he was just sharing happy news with everyone and I was just being too sensitive but I felt my privacy was violated plus I wanted to tell everyone on my own terms. Still my co workers tried to talk me out of it. Not just that but apologize to him for lashing out like that. Aita for my reaction?

Jonas Bergström
AITA for breaking up with my FTM boyfriend because I'm not gay?
Relationships

AITA for breaking up with my FTM boyfriend because I'm not gay?

I (M20) and my boyfriend (FTM21) have been together for almost two years. Recently, he came out as trans female to male to me and his closest friends. Since he is still only studying and his parents aren't supportive, but I already have a job, I've offered to pay for his treatment. Some weeks ago we talked and I told him that since I'm not into men, maybe we should break up. I offered to keep paying for his testosterone until he can pay for it himself, but he got angry and called me a transphobe. Am I really a transphobe? I tried my best to be gentle and told him we didn't need to break up immediately, if he didn't want to, but just that we should probably start to slowly stop dating. Also sorry if some of these sentences don't make sense, english isn't my first language.

Luca Moretti
AITA for pulling my son out of his preschool and filing a report with state licensing over a food allergy my son doesn’t even have?
Current Events

AITA for pulling my son out of his preschool and filing a report with state licensing over a food allergy my son doesn’t even have?

A few weeks ago (around Easter) my son’s (5 on Easter) preschool did a small celebration that involved handing out candy. When I went to pick him up his teacher told him he couldn’t have any of the candy in a certain area because it had peanuts in it. I gently corrected her that my son is NOT allergic to peanuts, he’s allergic to tree nuts (almonds cashews etc) and to please be careful not to teach him misinformation about his allergy. She said “yes he is.” And I had to very firmly let her know that he is not allergic to peanuts. They are not tree nuts. And oddly enough he can eat them. Please check his file to understand exactly what he is allergic to and don’t teach him misinformation about his allergy. (Safety issue.). She said “you wrong. You ain’t even know what you baby allergic to.” I left and called the director and requested they have a training with the staff to educate about allergy safety. And specially any adult in charge of my own child needs to know about his allergy in detail. Fast forward to last week I stopped in to pick my son up early because he wasn’t feeling well and I came in at lunch time to see his whole class eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. (My son was eating lunch I packed from home because I feel it’s safest.) I asked the same teacher from before what they were having. She said pbj and I asked “I thought this was a nut free facility?” She said “oh it’s sun butter it just smells like peanut butter.” So I ducked my head into the kitchen and took a picture of the peanut butter jar on the counter with my phone and another of the “nut free facility” sign and at home I got ANOTHER of my contract where it says all nut products are banned (tree nuts, peanuts, etc) and I sent all 3 to the state licensing board. Then I withdrew my child from the program. My partner feels I am “doing too much” but I think they are allowing a teacher to disregard safety protocols and I’m not going to risk my child’s life. I might be TA because I want 0-60 about the issue when my son isn’t even allergic to peanuts and was not at risk when his classmates ate peanut butter sandwiches. But. They still thought he was. And still served it around him.

Anya Petrova
AITA for reporting a coworker who sent me a screenshot of a female intern's outfit during a zoom call, and he got fired?
Current Events

AITA for reporting a coworker who sent me a screenshot of a female intern's outfit during a zoom call, and he got fired?

I'm working an internship at this company and we get to WFH one day a week. A couple weeks ago, we had a 1 hour zoom meeting and our team were all wfh during that day. The meeting was with me, Mark (another intern from my college that I didn't know before), Zoe (another intern from a different college), Aaron (my boss), and a few others. During the call, I noticed that Zoe was wearing a somewhat sheer top with no bra. Nobody else said anything during the call, and I didn't either, but I just rearranged the zoom call on my screen so that I couldn't see her camera anymore. Near the end of the call, Mark sent me a screenshot of Zoe's camera with the message, "Bro do you see what Zoe's wearing lol? We can see everything". I wasn't sure how to respond so I just didn't respond to it. This wasn't the first questionable thing of that sort that Mark has said and I remembered some of the stuff we were talked to about, in regards to inappropriate workplace behavior and what to do about it. Now I didn't think that message was appropriate but I wasn't really sure right then, but after thinking about it I ended up forwarding the message to my HR person. As a result, HR ended up interviewing us to see what went on, and Mark ended up getting fired with cause. I didn't really think or intend for Mark to get fired but that's what happened. Zoe ended up thanking me and said she didn't mean that for her outfit, but she also said she wished someone had said something during the meeting. Before this, I was getting along really well with the team and was getting stuck into one of the projects. But after Mark got fired, my boss Aaron who was also mentoring me, as well as another coworker, started talking to me less and being a little less friendly. The next catchup meeting with Aaron was shorter, and there was less small talk at the office. They also stopped the bantering that we were having fun with too. I don't think I overreacted and I felt that message wasn't right to send to me, but now the vibe at work is different and colder. AITA for reporting Mark and getting him fired?

Elise Dubois
Update 2: AITAH for telling my 19f daughter she will have to move out of my house if I get divorced because of her lies after after her stepdad saw her naked.
Current Events

Update 2: AITAH for telling my 19f daughter she will have to move out of my house if I get divorced because of her lies after after her stepdad saw her naked.

Been a while and i see a bunch of people asking for updates, i wasn't in the mood and i have been crying myself to sleep every night. I don't know what to do anymore, i lost my husband, family and my daughter. Thank you to everyone first but it's official im getting divorced. I was served with the divorce papers and my husbandwant nothingto do with us anymore. I have moved out of the house and i am currently staying with a friend untill i can get my life back in order. I have cut completely contact with my family but they still try and get into contact with me from different numbers or from different profiles on FB and Instagram. I don't know how long i can continue to stay with my friend because her life is now being impacted as well with my family members just showing up at her apartment. I would like to get a different place to stay but my salary won't be able to cover everything i need. My husband or STBXH covered all our bills previously but now i have to do everything myself. My daughter just packed her things a little over a week ago and moved away i don't know where she is at the moment and her friends are refusing to tell me anything. She tried to talk to my STBXH and he got a restraining order against her, she violated the order and he got her arrested, i don't know what went on in her head i tried to talk to her but she was admitted that she will fix everything but like i said my ex got a restraining order against her and then had her arrested when she kept going to him. My daughter will have to drop out of college because my ex is now refusing to continue covering anything els for her and retracted his offer to continue paying. He sent me a message saying he done. I didn't respect his wishes so i had to get out of his house immediately and my daughter also went against his wishes so he is retracting everthing from her as well. She is on her own. He said if i or my daughter continues harassing him he will open up a case against my daughter for defamation. I don't have enough money for myself at the moment with my job and all the bills so i definitely can't assist her, she packed up in the middle of the night and just left after i told her she will have to drop out and get a job. My STBXH became completely emotionless and cold the last couple of weeks and refused to talk to me about anything other than anything regarding the divorce. He said he would have been supportive and assisted for a while untill i could get on my feet but it clear we only want to use him, his generosity so he is done. He wanted to void the prenup we have but will now follow the prenup to the letter meaning i will basically get nothing in the divorce. I don't want anything, i just want him back. Even with everything that happened, i still want my husband the kind, carring, sweet man i had i want him back. I need him to come back. I told him my daughter moved out of the house and asked again if we could try and fix our marriage and he didn't even respond. The last message i got from him was him asking if i signed the divorce papers yet or if i got a lawyer yet to look over the divorce papers. Because he want to be done with this and move on because it's clear to him now that no one in my family me included respected him at all. In that message he also said i should get my family to back off because they are still harassing him with message, calls and email and he is sick of it. If they don't stop het will report them as well. To the people that keep asking me why i didn't do anything when the lies started to spread i did do everything i could. I was accused of protecting my creep of a husband and the video didn't help because i did send it to some of my relatives but it has no audio so it only shows him knocking and then walking in my daughter said sje awnsered him and he still went in.

Luca Moretti
My brother's wedding update #3
Family

My brother's wedding update #3

So my grandparents actually called me the following morning asking if i got invited to the wedding, i said no and they were soo mad. Turns out my grandparents were paying for the wedding. My brother told everyone he was paying for everything himself but nope. My grandparents are now not paying for the wedding after fsil also refused to tell them what she is upset about. My parents have stepped up to cover the rest of the wedding expenses and my grandparents, my bf and i will be enjoying a great weekend. Thank you to everyone'scomments and advise i really appreciate it. That's all the updates i have but i will keep you posted.

Luca Moretti
UPDATE: AITA for telling my sister she’s not allowed to bring her homemade food to Thanksgiving because her cooking is ruining the meal?
Family

UPDATE: AITA for telling my sister she’s not allowed to bring her homemade food to Thanksgiving because her cooking is ruining the meal?

Alright, so Thanksgiving is now just a little over two weeks away, and somehow, things have escalated even further than I thought possible. I thought maybe my sister’s “Thanksgiving Trio Experience” would be the peak of the drama—well, turns out I was wrong. Since the last update, my sister has become fully committed to making her “dishes” the main attraction. She’s been dropping hints in the family group chat (which I’m still not included in, but shoutout to my cousin for the screenshots) about how this Thanksgiving will be “one to remember” and calling it her “Thanksgiving Debut.” She’s apparently been referring to herself as the “Thanksgiving Head Chef” and has hinted that she’s bringing some kind of “culinary surprise centerpiece” that will “transform the whole experience.” From what I can piece together, she’s planning a main “statement dish” in addition to her original three side dishes. I’m picturing something equally bizarre but on a much larger scale, and honestly, I’m terrified. If her green bean casserole was already pushing it, I can’t even imagine what she thinks is worthy of being the “centerpiece.” Then, to make things even weirder, my mom texted me privately and suggested that I “step back” this year and let my sister “shine” since she’s “so excited about her contributions.” My mom thinks if we just give her this moment, it’ll make her happy and she’ll “get it out of her system.” She even hinted that maybe I should “focus on decorations and drinks” instead of the main dishes, which feels like an attempt to turn hosting over to my sister without actually saying it. So now, I’m left with a choice: go along with my mom’s plan and let my sister essentially hijack Thanksgiving, or keep pushing back and risk a family showdown. I just wanted a nice Thanksgiving with dishes everyone would enjoy, but it seems like I’m either about to hand over the whole meal to her… or prepare for some serious drama. Thanksgiving isn’t even here yet, and it already feels like a circus. I’m half tempted to just sit back and see what chaos unfolds, but part of me is still worried about subjecting the whole family to whatever “artistic statement” she has planned.

Clara Jensen
AITA for “double-reporting” an employee (to his boss, and then to corporate) and probably getting him fired?
Current Events

AITA for “double-reporting” an employee (to his boss, and then to corporate) and probably getting him fired?

My husband and I have a 15 year old son, who is biracial; my husband is African American and I am white (this will be important later on in the story). My son just got his driver’s permit and has begun driving with me on a regular basis. The other day we were on the road, and he accidentally cut off a truck, making him have to break abruptly. I scolded my son and gave a “sorry” wave to the driver. At the next red light which came about a minute later, the guy pulled up next to us. His car had a large company logo on it, indicating he was on the job. He rolled down the window and shouted the N-word at my son. My son’s face went pale, and he was quiet, depressed and clearly wounded deeply the rest of the drive home. The encounter sickened me. I did some research on the company; at one point I even plugged them into Facebook. They have a very active Facebook page and seem like an organization that prides themselves on a good image and good customer service. I called the company and reported the man’s behavior, describing him very vividly. They informed me that they knew exactly who I was talking about, and that all their drivers drive with a dashcam, so his behavior is on camera. I had a good feeling about the encounter and that they were going to definitely take care of the situation. Two months later, when I was browsing Facebook kind of boredly one day, the company’s name was recommended in my search, and just for the hell of it I clicked and looked at their page for the first time in two months. One of the very first photos/posts I saw from just a day ago showed a big group of their employees huddled together in their company yard, with some kind of tag about a project they just completed. To my horror, I saw the employee who shouted at my son in the group, grinning widely. Meaning they didn’t fire him. The company is part of a nationwide chain, so I called their corporate headquarters, was connected to the highest person I could get to, and I reported the incident to them, and complained about how they didn’t fire him. The man I spoke to sounded disgusted, way, way more so than the previous person I’d reported him to, apologized profusely, and thanked me very much for telling him. Additionally, he made multiple statements about how racists and bigots have “no place” and “no future” in his company, giving me a strong feeling the offending employee’s career is now toast. Was it right of me to “double-report” this guy? I’m sure he was given at least some consequence the first time around (if not fired) and wonder if some might argue that I was going too far or being vindictive by reporting him again. Am I an asshole or a “Karen” for not dropping this matter?

Anya Petrova
AITAH For Reporting My FMIL For Snooping And Reading My Son's Confidential File?
Current Events

AITAH For Reporting My FMIL For Snooping And Reading My Son's Confidential File?

Edit- UPDATE: I just wanted to say, first of all, thank you to everyone for your input. Both the positive and negative feedback gave me some different perspectives so I appreciate both. It has been so nice to hear that majority of people believe that my actions were justified and reassure me it was, in fact, a breach of confidentiality and illegal. This is not the first time my FMIL (which is future mother in-law, for those who were confused) has overstepped, manipulated situations/words, and just been an overall menace in my life, which you can find many posts about on my profile. Many people seem to understand that manipulators are great at getting in people's heads, so this clarification and reassurance means a lot to me so I know I'm not going insane and I did right by my son. We went to his doctor this morning to see her about cerebral palsy and a clubbed foot, which FMIL called my fiancé "concerned" about, which the doctor basically said she can't see at all what she is talking about and even said herself that she thinks FMIL was using this as a stretch to try and say it was that instead of autism. She then said it was in her notes regarding the developmental interventionalist program I'm in with my son, where FMIL works, to send any future documents directly to my case worker and not the office as there was a breach of confidentiality and she asked me what that was about....so I told her what FMIL did and she literally gasped and said, "that is completely against the law". She then asked if fiancé was supportive of me during that time, to which I opened up about what fiancé had done and his standpoint....she was very comforting and also assured me I did completely right by my son and FMIL was way out of line and she was also disappointed that she got basically zero repercussions for something that not only was illegal but a conflict of interest, which FMIL would have known both of those things prior to her actions. She reassured me it was FMIL's choices and actions that would have gotten her fired, not my own, and it's ridiculous of anyone to even think that for one moment. She also said that if FMIL did "stumble upon" the papers, she should have walked away the moment she saw my son's name, knowing it was a conflict of interest. But since she deliberately snooped for the information and read it fully, that was soo much worse. Overall, she was absolutely appalled by this and literally in shock. Anyway, thank you to everyone for your comments and for reaching out to me privately, I truly appreciate all of the feedback and the support!! 🤍 ---- About 2 or 3 weeks ago now I reported my FMIL to her workplace for reading my son's confidential information. For starters, I am in Canada, not the US, but we do still have a confidentiality law similar to the US. Anyway, here is the story. My son was referred to an early interventions office after I raised concerns to our family doctor about possible autism for his 18 month check up. After hearing my reasons for suspecting this, she agreed he very well could have it and referred me to start with an early childhood developmental interventionalist to assess his needs and then refer me to the autism team. Unfortunately, FMIL works there. (Also, please note I am in a very small town and this was the ONLY option). Although for the past three years she has worked at a different office which is almost two hours away, it is rare for her to be in the office my son was referred to. Her work, on top of strict confidentiality laws that, to my understanding, state you can't just read any patient's file that you want to, have strict rules that family cannot work with family as it's a conflict of interest. Somehow she happened to be in that office location when my son's referral came in (which I'm very suspicious of), and side note she did know about the referral ahead of time because my fiance felt the need to tell her that her work would be getting a referral for him. She called my fiance and told him she read his referral and told him what it said, what the doctor's notes were, etc. And her thoughts on it all. Which BTW she is highly against my son having autism and thinks I am making it all up to get him diagnosed for whatever reason, and I was afraid of her swaying his assessment due to talking to coworkers about her strong opinions. I was already planning on asking the assigned worker during our first visit to keep FMIL off the case (including discussing it with her if she asked anything about it) due to conflict of interest, but after my fiance told me she flat out read his information she was not entitled to read, I thought absolutely not and I emailed the office immediately to express what an overstep I found that to me and stating that I want her to have zero involvement moving forward and I want her to never be able to read anything involving his case again. This became a huge issue. My fiance was angry with me as he said I should have gone to FMIL FIRST and asked her to please not read our son's file. Then, if it happened two more times to remind her I will report her if it keeps happening, then after a third time fiance said he would step in to warn her himself. To me, first of all, that is 4 chances before fiance even steps in and 5 chances before she potentially gets any repercussions, and also secondly I figured why wouldn't she just keep reading it and just not tell us she read it. Fiance says I lack respect and I am a coward for not calling or going to his mother in person to discuss it and hear her side and tell her I want to report her BEFORE taking any action. So, what happened was, his mother went to a board meeting with a bunch of people, including her boss and board of directors for the company and whoever else. She is set to retire in just a few weeks now, and they concluded that what she did was extremely wrong but considering she is leaving very soon and it was her grandchild, they basically slapped her on the wrist with the warning if it happened again she would be done for, and sent her on her way. FMIL claims that she was perfectly within her right to read my son's information because she claims "anyone could have read it" as it was just a referral faxed over from the doctor (FYI there was more than just a basic referral, there was also confidential papers on a developmental questionnaire I did with my doctor to determine if he even needed the referral there or not) and she could have even been the one to be sitting at the fax machine and received it. She also claimed, while yelling at me on the phone the night before her board meeting to try and get me to tell them she was just a concerned grandma and I gave her permission to read his information, that she only read it because she believed I was in the wrong spot and getting the wrong referral for him and she wanted to read what me and the doctor said so she could determine a better place for him to be referred to and "help me". Which I told her was none of her business and not her place whatsoever. She also didn't "stumble upon" his papers, she seemed them out and read them, knowingly, not accidentally. Anyway, the family is mad at me and claims what she did was "upsetting" but me reporting her and potentially "ruining her career and risking her job, retirement and life (because you can possibly be charged or go to jail for breaching confidentiality)" is a million times worse than what she did initially to make me even report her. Sorry for the long post and thank you so much in advance if you bothered to read this all. Based on this information, AITAH? Or am I partially? And also, how would you have handled this situation and I am open to any additional comments or suggestions or anything. This has been weighing heavy on my mind as I feel I did the right thing for my son and his privacy, but I have my fiance's family in my ear telling me what I did was extremely wrong on every level. I am just so torn and confused on what I did or if I'm wrong for doing it.

Elise Dubois
Update - AITAH for not letting my daughter be around her mother
Family

Update - AITAH for not letting my daughter be around her mother

My original post : https://www.reddit.com/r/family/s/1HpvyztmgZ I thought I’d give an update. I decided to talk to my daughter and ask what she thought about meeting Ellie. She said she’d like to meet her, so we arranged to meet at a restaurant. Ellie was cordial and asked my daughter about her favorite things to do, school, and her friends. My daughter even asked Ellie if she has any other kids, and Ellie replied, “Yes, sweetie! You have two half-brothers.” After our meeting, Ellie texted me to say thanks and asked if she could start seeing my daughter on a set schedule. I told her I wanted to take things slowly. Then she said, “Before we set anything up, maybe we should discuss child support for the time she’ll be with me.” I thought she was joking. I replied, “I have full custody. I’m not paying you to visit your own child!” She got angry, saying, “You’re still the same selfish jerk as before! I have two other kids and am raising them alone! Now I finally connect with my daughter, and you’re being a deadbeat.” At first, I thought it was a prank, but it turns out she has serious money problems. It seems she was hoping to get shared custody so I’d start paying her, essentially to babysit her own daughter. I told her if that was her plan, she wouldn’t get a dime from me. She kept insulting me and eventually blocked me. Since then, my daughter has asked several times what happened to Ellie. I just told her that Ellie must be busy and that if she contacts me, I’ll let her know. Ellie is banned from ever contacting my daughter until she an adult and decide for herself

Clara Jensen
AITA for wanting to share our pregnancy news with my parents, without my wife
Relationships

AITA for wanting to share our pregnancy news with my parents, without my wife

Me (37m) and my wife (33f) learned that she is about 8 weeks pregnant. We are delighted but also terrified. It is the first time for both of us. She has asked me to not share the news with anyone until we get to about 12 weeks, when the pregnancy will be stable. So I have been keeping it, even though I really want to share the news with everyone around me. A key detail is that we are currently in long distance: she lives in the same country as her parents, while I am an expat and live alove. She will move in with me and to our new house in one month. She decided that she would like to tell her parents about her pregnancy before she leaves her home country, so that they can share some of the joy while they are together. This way she can also do one of the ultrasounds with her mother and experience this special connection. This is all understood, and I told her I support her in how she wants to handle the pregnancy information. She did share it with her parents, and they were overjoyed – the house is in a festive mood, they cannot stop smiling and laughing, etc. I am still under an information embargo though. (note: I did ask her to let me share with a couple of select people, for my own mental sanity, since I really needed to be able to open up to a friend. She was fine with it) Now to the drama. I asked her if I could also tell my parents, to which she responded that she prefers me to wait for the 12 weeks. By that time we will have moved in together in the country where I live. I said fine, but then she asked me that we reveal the news to my parents together, she and I. I can honestly not tell why, but I would like to tell my parents myself. There are no other grandchildren in our family, and I have been living away from home (like three continents away) for the last 12 years. So, in my mind, I really want to share this with my mom and dad and also have the same ‘joyous family moment’ like she did. My wife took it badly. I think she feels excluded or that I do not want her to somehow be part of my family? Which on my part is absolutely not true. I just feel like I do not want this to be a joint announcement sort of situation. I want it to be intimate between me and my parents, and right after, we could all have a joint video call or whatever. She is very upset. I reminded her that we did not announce to \*her\* parents jointly. She is saying that I did not express any desire to do so (which is true, I did not even think of it) … but since she is clearly communicating \*her\* desire to me, it is different, and I should hear her. Sure, but I still want this to be my moment with my parents. When I say it out loud though, “I want to announce our pregnancy to my parents without my wife” it sounds wrong. Somehow it is like I have this righteous feeling of possessiveness over a piece of news/information. I am conflicted. Am I the Asshole? Note: she and my parents do not share a common language and communicate via translator app

Luca Moretti
Update; AITAH for asking my husband not to walk around all “nude” because it makes my daughter uncomfortable
Relationships

Update; AITAH for asking my husband not to walk around all “nude” because it makes my daughter uncomfortable

We were dating for 4 years before we got married. We’ve been married for just two months. We talked about his habit before we got hitched, and he told me he didn’t do it anymore. When my daughter went to my parents’ place for summer break, I stayed with him and kept an eye on him. That’s when I started noticing he was back to his old ways, just scrolling on his phone. I brought it up and said, “If you don’t want to wear clothes, at least throw on a robe.” He agreed (this was just four days before my daughter got back). I told him he needed to cover up. The next day, while my daughter was at a party, he took a shower and came out in a robe, which made me think we were making progress. But on the day my daughter came back, he asked her a question right after she arrived. I was just dusting my desk when I caught her name and she came over to say she didn’t like seeing him like that. That’s when I had a talk with him, and everything from my post happened after that. I’ve always put my daughter before anyone except for God. My husband took a shower this morning, and before he got in, I told him to bring his robe with him. He did. Then I sent my daughter downstairs and waited in her room to see what he would do. He came out of the bathroom and stood in front of her door, just scrolling through his phone. When he walked into her room and saw me, I told him I was really upset that he was doing this "habit" on purpose. I even threatened to call the cops and told him he and his kids could pack up. He got angry and claimed I wouldn’t let him be himself. I said he could be himself in his own space. I immediately knew what had to be down wether it was nice or not. I asked him how long he’s been doing this and what else he’s done to her. I wanted to know why he feels so comfortable acting this way and why he won’t just wear a robe. This is just not normal. He insisted he hasn’t done anything to her and claimed she’s just getting in the way of him loving me. I could tell he was lying. I told him he can answer those questions when the cops ask him. We’re getting a divorce, and honestly, I’ve decided not to get married again for my daughter’s mental health. I can’t risk putting her through more trauma. I really love my daughter, but honestly, I don’t think I deserve her. I should've seen it sooner, but I didn't. A lot of you were right—he was just a predator trying to get to my daughter through me.

Anya Petrova
AITAH for breaking up with my fiancee after she surprised me on my vacation with my sibling?
Current Events

AITAH for breaking up with my fiancee after she surprised me on my vacation with my sibling?

My fiancee and I were together for 3 years, and I proposed to her 5 months ago. We had our wedding scheduled for December. I love my fiancee but one thing which always bothered me was her insecurity. Her previous partner of 4 years cheated on her, and she had a hard time trusting anyone after that. My fiancee was very overbearing and sort of protective, and I had to slowly cut off contact with 2 of my women friends because of her insecurities. She also needed a lot of reassurances. However, it did not bother me too much because I did love my fiancée, and did want to spend the rest of my life with her. That’s why I proposed to her, and that’s why we had made life plans. Now to give some backstory, my family (mom, dad, sister, and me) had a tradition where we went on a 1 week vacation to a different state every year. We had this tradition since I was a kid, and we did it every year without fail even when my sister and I became adults. However, over the past 6 years, it’s just been me and my sister taking the vacation, as our parents have become old and they just don’t have the energy anymore. We decided to take the vacation at Aspen, Colorado this year in August. My fiancee wanted to come to Colorado too, but I told her this was a family tradition, and she had already gone on a vacation with me a few months ago. So my sister and I took the vacation in August. I told my fiancee the hotel and room number I would be in. My fiancee always wants these details when I go on any vacation without her, and I always give them to her. I saw no issues with it, it was just my fiancée’s insecurities again. But a couple of days into our vacation, early morning, my fiancee had knocked the room of the hotel my sister and I were at. My fiancee had booked a ticket to surprise me, and while she was very excited to see us, my sister was less than thrilled. In fact, she was pretty pissed, but she acted normal in front of my fiancée to maintain some decorum. But she later asked me in private if my fiancee was someone I really wanted to marry, and that if I did marry her, she would probably isolate me from my family too. The remaining 3 days of the vacation was sort of awkward, however my fiancee was oblivious to it. But by the end of the vacation, I had reached my tipping point, and when we came back home, I broke up with fiancee. I didn’t want to break her heart, and I’m really worried about how she’s handing the break up, but I just don’t think my fiancee and I are compatible to live together for life. AITAH?

Luca Moretti